We all start out soft and squishy and trusting. Hurts turn into scars, scars into armor.
We all carry the weight of the past. The struggle is in keeping the weight balanced so that it doesn’t pull the future into the hole with it.
Recently, I came literally face to face with a hurt that I thought had healed over. I now completely understand the phrase “Knee Jerk Reaction”.
I was suddenly a naive kid again, broken hearted and betrayed. I ran.
My higher self had disappeared, I was unable to see beyond my own flashbacks. For days after, I was out of balance, talking myself off the proverbial bridge.
I said things about that person that I now wish I hadn’t said.
After a week of meditation and introspection, I’ve come to realize that sometimes you have to air the wound for it to truly heal.
I have to remember daily that the people in my life now are NOT the people that were in my life before.
The person that hurt me has their own weight to balance, their own past to deal with. I wish them peace, as I seek it myself.
The person I am becoming will be able to see things as they are as they are happening. She will know that the past does not dictate the future.
She will offer peace and forgiveness and know that there is always a better way.
Just because love or friendship has caused pain in the past, does not mean it will cause pain in the future.
I must not hold the past against myself and those I love.
I am becoming… slowly.
Peace and love my friends.